Sleep (with your baby) while your baby sleeps?

My baby, who's now just over 10 months has never had a successful daytime nap in her cot. And i'm beginning to worry!

As a tiny baby she'd nap in her moses basket in whatever room i was in, or in her buggy, or sling and of course the car was always a sure way to get her to snooze. 

As she got older i tried putting her in her cot for a nap - i worked hard at it. I tried sneaking her into her cot, she'd invariably wake up. I tried putting her moses basket, with her in it asleep, into the cot. I spent time playing with her in her room so she felt that it was a safe, nice place. I'd sit for hours next to her stroking her, singing to her, all in an attempt to get her to drift off. I tried controlled crying and hated it. Nothing worked. 

So i decided to get creative...

Someone said to me that I should sleep when my baby slept, and i decided to take it literally. When i could see a snooze brewing i'd take her into our room and snuggle up in bed with her, it worked a treat. If i was feeling tired i'd drop off with her and we'd both wake up fresh and ready to play. Sometimes i'd wait 'til she'd dropped off and then i'd get up and do stuff. You wouldn't believe how productive i could be knowing that she'd be asleep for a couple of hours. 

We don't have the struggle with the cot at night time. Don't get me wrong, it's hard to get her to sleep at night - one of us has to be in the room with her 'til she falls asleep and this can sometimes take hours.

So why am i worried? We've got a little pattern that works for us right?

Well i'm scared she'll roll out of bed for one. She usually just hollers when she wakes up. We live in a one level apartment so i'm never far away. But she's getting more mobile and it's bound to happen one day. 

I'm scared that i'm creating some sort of sleep dependency in her, that she'll think it's normal to be in bed with either me or my husband and that she can't sleep on her own. 

Mostly what's scaring me is a tale my friend told me...

Whilst away on a couples with kids cottage break my friend, who currently has no kids but is pregnant, watched as all the mums and dads started their bedtime routines. There were baths being ran, books being read, special toys being located, boobs being monched on. At last all the kids were in bed and all the parents, apart from one, were back in the living room. So wine was poured, cheese and biscuits were pounced upon and an air of relaxation descended on the room. Three hours later the missing mum - whose husband hadn't seemed disturbed by the disappearance of his wife - appeared, with a wild look in her eye hunting for the bottle of wine. The poor woman had been in bed with her six and four year old kids stroking them to sleep. She wasn't 'allowed' to leave the room until they were firmly in the land of nod.

This is why i'm scared!!

My precious bundle is off to nursery for part of the week in a couple of months time and I'm secretly hoping that the napping in the cot, alone, thing gets sorted out there. 

In the meantime I'm continuing to enjoy my naps and cuddles, it's special and i should probably quit worrying...

What if i'm still having to do it in five years time though? If i am i'll be sure to take the bottle of wine into the bedroom with me!

Advice and similar stories most welcome.

Daddy wants a pizza the action...

We've slipped into a nice little habit of going to Pizza Express on a Friday early evening. The husband finishes work as soon as he can, nips home, ditches the suit and we stroll into town with the baby in her Ergo carrier. Pizza Express is an excellent place to go to eat with a baby. Our little one is 10 months now and we're mainly following a baby led weaning (BLW) approach. We find the menu and the atmosphere easy and relaxed. It's a lovely way to end the week together.

This week, to our horror, the baby decided to puke - Mount Vesuvius style - just as the waitress put our drinks on the table. Our girl's not a pukey baby generally so we were a bit surprised. I was trying to contain the continued stream with napkins and a muslin but noticed quite an interesting phenomenon occurring with my husband. He leapt to his feet and looked for a job to do - as it went there wasn't much he could do at that point. 

"Have we got a change of clothing?" he asked. 

"No." i replied. 

By this time the baby had finished being sick, and we'd mopped up as best as we could. Everything was calm, we were just waiting for the pizzas which we'd swapped to a takeaway order. The husband started looking twitchy...

"Shall I run to a shop to get a change of clothes?" he said. 

"No" i replied, "We'll just take her home like this and wash the Ergo and everything we're wearing too. 

"OK" he says, and sits down again. 

His bum cant have hit the chair before he leaps up and says: 

"Shall i run to get the car?" 

"No" i said, again. "Just stay here with, me, finish your drink." 

With that the pizzas arrive, we pay, we pack up our stuff and head home. The husband looks very relieved.

It struck me that my husband, who i'm sure is like many men, needs a job to do in a crisis, and would rather be tearing around getting a job, any job, done rather than sitting calmly within the chaos until it passes. Even if that job doesn't actually achieve anything positive to the situation.

I like it that he's a man of action, he's got us out of a few scrapes in our wild pre-baby days, but i also like it that I can keep calm in a situation (sometimes) and ride that wave of chaos.

So it's Sunday now and the baby is still poorly, but she's not distressed, or dehydrated, just snoozing lots and not keeping her milk in her tummy. All this snoozing has given me a bit of time to set up my blog and a new Twitter account. Ha, it's only taken me 10 months to kick into action on this little plan!